It’s funny how one of the most common comments I get about the girls are about their haircuts. The short bobs were really out of convenience since it was getting so hard to wash and brush Mia’s hair when it was long. She’s got a mess of thick hair and most times it ended up in tangles. It often also ended up in her mouth as she was a chronic hair chewer so we just cut it to make it easier for everyone since she hated having her hair brushed. It seemed to fit her tomboyish personality anyway.

I never thought, however, that these bobs would become so much of their identity. These much-loved dolls that a blog reader Yolande, made for the girls last summer are like little minis of them, short sassy haircuts and all.

But as you can see from this recent photo, we’ve been thinking about growing out their hair and it’s getting really shaggy. Since the first few months of Kindergarten, Mia’s been talking about wanting long hair and I suspect it’s because almost every girl in her class aside from herself and another classmate has long hair that gets braided, put in pretty hair clips and pony tails. I’m not really surprised that she’s looking to “fit in” more, so we’re giving it a try, though I think this time we will keep her bangs and grow out the rest to see how that looks.

Claudine’s bangs are pretty much all grown out, but she’s been walking around looking like Shaun Cassidy. Her hair is much more fine and wispy and I can tell that it’s getting darker and straighter as she gets older. I’m not convinced, however, that she looks better without bangs or this limp, longer hair. I sort of miss her cute little bobbed haircut which seems to work well with her fine hair texture, but I can’t tell if I’m just waxing nostalgia over her disappearing baby-ness.

I’m giving the girls haircuts on Friday. Maybe the bob will be back.

If 3 is a magic number, then 6 makes you realize that your little girl is growing up. For reals. 6 is serious business. It’s closer to 10 than it is to 1.

Happy birthday to my girl!

It’s Mia’s birthday week. As it’s also near Valentine’s Day, trying to plan any kind of celebration is stressful, so we’ve opted for small home parties every year alternating between different groups of friends on the invite. This year we wanted to have our neighbors and their kids over for brunch.

All Mia wanted for her birthday is a pinata. She’s been talking about it for a year, so when we went on a recent shopping trip to Target, she fixated on a purple pony pinata and clung to its neck the whole time in the store. Ok, that’s not actually how it went down. Claudine and Mia fought over who got to hold the purple pony so *I* had to carry that thing around the store. More fighting at home ensued so the purple pony sat high out of reach on our dresser in our room. The thing scared the crap out of me sometimes in the mornings when I’d forget it was there.

On the eve of the brunch we dumped all the Valentine’s themed candy, plastic gemstone rings, heart stickers and little bottles of nail polish on the floor and stuffed that pony silly. Turns out the pony didn’t really have such big capacity to hold a lot of stuff, but we did our best and left it by the window till morning. The cat came over and sniffed it.

It’s official. There are no babies in this house. Claudine’s been potty trained since last spring, but we’re officially done with pull ups at night now too. And if you must know the truth, she’s been ready for a good long time but we were the ones too lazy to initiate the night thing, not to mention we had bought a huge case of pull ups at Costco and damn it, we were going to use them regardless. But one day last week as we were getting the kids ready for bed and Mark was reaching for the pull ups, Claudine broke out and said “WHHHHY do I have to wear pull ups??!??”.

Okaaaay. And that was that.

If it happened a bit anti-climatically, it’s still a truly significant step in our house. And I know that we have other battles ahead of us, but I feel like we’ve finally moved past all the hard baby stuff and that some of the unknown has now been figured out. I remember when I was down to my last trimester with Mia, freaking out about childcare, freelancing and how it would all work out. We don’t have gobs of money now, but we really didn’t have any money back then and the prospect of hustling for work while taking care of this new little person was terrifying. We couldn’t afford a full time nanny and day cares around here didn’t take babies. So we got creative, hired a PT sitter 2x a week for 16 hours, traded off childcare duties when we didn’t have her, pulled our hair out when we both got slammed with work, cried when it got too much, slept less hours and drank more coffee. After 6 continuous years of having babies and toddlers in the house, we made it!!

And the pull ups? We’ll be giving the dozen or so we have left away and pocketing that extra $30-50 a month saved from wipes and diapers, plus we gain an extra free cubbyhole in the bookshelf where they were stored (you laugh, but in NYC where storage is a premium, an extra cubbyhole is like winning $500 at the slot machines). As for those baby cravings that I get now and then (I love babies and I actually love the whole baby stage), shooing those feelings away now…

I think one of the things that most people will notice when they come over to our house for any extended period of time is how respectful the girls are of our stuff. And by stuff, I’m talking computers, phones, cameras and any other piece of enticing, forbidden electronic equipment. They also don’t rummage in our bags or play with our wallets or keys. I don’t know that we consciously “trained” them to keep their distance, but given that they’re both fairly different in personality from each other, something got ingrained in them from an early age. Maybe it’s because they’re used to seeing me working on the computer all the time (judging from this photo, ya think?). At one point when Claudine was a baby (that’s her pictured here), she’d associate the opening of the laptop with nursing and would start to expect it when she saw me on the computer (let’s face it…nursing is a bonding experience and all, but after awhile and especially after the second one, it’s really boring just sitting there with a baby on your boob).

If you came to our house and saw where I keep my computer, you’d probably think I was crazy because I leave it on the couch at all times. The girls, however, will never touch it, ever. They’ll bounce around, wrestle and lay down or stretch out on the sofa, but they’ll stay clear of the side that the laptop is on. It pretty much hogs up its own permanent seat on the couch. I know what you’re thinking…um, the couch? Isn’t there a safer place to keep the computer? But the girls are generally “non-destructive” to begin with and I trust them around our stuff completely (ok, I lie. Once Claudine picked up my phone and threw it down on the rug).

Contrary to what this may sound like, the kids are really curious about computers and iphones and if we let them, would probably play with apps and video games all day long. Mia, in particular, seems to have the potential to be an addictive gamer given her keen interest in gaming consoles, computers and anything screen-based when presented with the opportunity, but despite the fact that many of her friends have a Wii and access to computer time, we’ve just held off. I know it can’t be for long and we’re not planning on being super hardball on it as the kids get older. I mean we totally grew up on Atari, the Commodore 64 and later, Nintendo (Summer Olympic Games on Atari, anyone?) and we came out ok (I think). So I’m curious, what are your thoughts on computers and kids? If your kids are using computers now, when did you let them tinker around?

I’m finding myself in a situation that I’m totally unprepared for. One that I was expecting down the line, yes, but not now, not this soon. Some time after your baby is born you might have flashes of your child as an adolescent in school and wonder what’s in store - will she be popular? Will she be unpopular? Picked on? Considered the weird one and ostracized? Ganged up on? The last to be chosen for a team? What? All of this stuff SUCKS and we probably all have some recollection of the angst related to growing up as we navigated our way around social lessons. One of the perks of being an adult is that you don’t have to deal with this crap anymore (hopefully).

I never thought I had to worry about Mia. She’s always been confident, gregarious, an extrovert and could instantly make friends wherever we went. I always thought Claudine would be the kid I’d have to worry about since she is shy in public and takes a long time to open up to people. But here we are, already dealing with an antagonistic situation and the heartache of suddenly having a friend drop you, of being told that you’re not wanted or liked, and not having a best friend in class while others have all paired up in twos.

Mia’s a strong kid. She’s resilient and not easily bothered by things, but she is also fiery and “overly-friendly” to the point where she could be overbearing. I know this. And lately I’m seeing some of her confidence start to wane just a little. It’s hard to know what’s really going on at school and a little piece of me wonders if she bends the story or leaves out details so that the situation is more sympathetic towards her. I just don’t know. But when your kid is telling you that she spent most of recess by herself in her “lonely place”, well, that just breaks your heart.

So how do you deal other than to talk to your kid, the teacher and the other parent? You can’t control what’s going on when you’re not there. YOU’RE NOT ALWAYS GOING TO BE THERE. And let’s be honest - kids, especially girls, can be mean. So viciously mean. It makes you want to gather up your kid in your arms and cast a protective invisible forcefield around them so that any meanness just pings right off. You don’t want this for your child. Ever. And the thought that I have a large part in how this little person who will grow up to be an adult someday will handle all these hard lessons in life? Terrifying, especially when you’re trying to get your own shit together.

Claudine’s potato people drawings are evolving. She’s been drawing them much like the above for awhile now. As you can see, she’s added hair, ears, fingers and shoes from her early versions. She’s also learning how to write and spell (”mina” is supposed to be “mia” with an extra “n” thrown in there). The sad person (I think those are tears?) is supposed to be her Aunt Lara who is sad because she is not here visiting NY. Claudine drew this last month. But then…

…all of a sudden one day, she started drawing people very differently. The heads got much smaller and suddenly had elongated bodies and noses, sometimes even eyelashes and really long hair (though we seemed to have lost the ears).

I love this drawing above. It’s gotten a bit abstract and even a little goth, but it KILLS me that she drew tufts of grass under the people’s feet. I mean this kid just turned 3.

Mia’s people have evolved since school started too. It’s gotten less “sweet” but there’s more expression here. The figures almost look a bit Tim Burton-esque (why yes, I *am* analyzing my kids’ art).

The girls will draw for quite a bit of time sitting side by side next to each other at the table and I’m sure that is how Claudine has picked up on drawing bodies for her faces - by watching her older sister. Mia’s also helping her to spell her name since unlike “Mia”, “Claudine” is a handful of letters to remember. I watched them tonight playing a game called “mail” where they will draw or write each other letters and put it in the “mail slot” (usually through the open bookcase or under a door). They’ll then call each other on their “cellphones” and discuss the day’s mail like little old ladies. Wouldn’t it be nice if life were that simple and pleasant?

Thanks to those blog readers who came by to say hi today at the Brooklyn Flea. It was a great first weekend (by the way you can find weekly Market Dates in the sidebar now). We are donating 10% of all sales made at the Flea today to support the relief efforts in Haiti. This goes for sales in our online shops too till the end of next week and the money will be distributed equally among Mercy Corps, Doctors Without Borders, Partners in Health and the UN Central Emergency Response Fund.

And yeah, the pink heart marshmallows are back for Valentine’s Day (or as Mia likes to call them, “baby butts”). This year they are cinnamon!